I finally left the terrible USA! aka Escape from Sobibor
It was 10 years of a wasted life that began right before Sept 11th. I got into the US on a student visa and the rest was a nightmare up until Dec 31st, 2012.
On November 30, 2010, I almost died. I was sick as a dog, no insurance, with a fever of 106 F, I became a dummy, I lost part of my hearing for a while, and even took an exam in this state. Needless to say, I failed the listening bit. My brain was still boiled 12 days later, so I had a hard time listening to the instructions. I vowed to myself that I had to leave the USA by Nov 20, 2011, otherwise I was going to commit suicide. Why was I in this state, after getting two bachelors degrees, not having received any H1B visa, been rejected by a school here for a masters degree after not having a bank statement, and then having been rejected by Sweden for a masters degree in Sweden.
Where was my life going? No papers, no hope of marrying a logical person, Americans always seemed to have something fatally wrong with them, completely wrong for spouse material if you were trying to get anywhere in your life. People laugh at me when I say Americans are not worth marrying, but I guess with the kind of jobs I was doing, I only got to meet the scraps bottom of the barrel.
I saw a friend get a deportation order, she opted to leave on her own. Lucky for her her parents are still working. They have good jobs and they get to leave the country to work, so they can afford to pay for her college. She left and started school this January. She even got job offers, she has tall relatives. What of me? If I land back home, I have no one to help me find a job even sweeping the streets. My mom is really sick and had no one sending her money for food. I thought better to just kill myself than go back as a complete failure.
I got fired from my job in October. I had worked at Pizza Hut for 6 years. And when I re-applied for the job, they were using E-verify. Yes, it costs them $150 to run someone through that system, and if the person doesn't pass, they lose that money. The funny thing is, they've flagged legal people too. It's not a perfect system. But I worked on a Sunday for 4 hours, and then on Monday I got a call from the manager. He asked me whose social security number I was using. Erm, dude, it's mine, issued by the American government. Oh, he wouldn't hear of it. He accused me of stealing someone else's identity. Well, it's my identity, just slightly altered. Apparently E-verify doesn't tell them why someone's SSN is flagged, it just tells them there's something wrong with it. So I've been using this SSN to pay taxes every year, and now I'm being accused of using someone else's identity? Needless to say, I lost that job. And I had quit teaching refugees, so I could earn more money to send to my mother.
How as I going to live in a country where I couldn't look a job? This wasn't a situation where I was looking for jobs and not finding, it was a situation where I wasn't even allowed to look for a job. I knew I had to get out. That very moment I started searching for schools in other countries. I got fired on Monday, and a school had accepted me by Friday. As in I had the documentation to be accepted in the school. Lucky for me I had been living like a dog on the street, saving all my money, sleeping on the floor. I found a school that matched the amount of money I had saved. All I had to do now was apply at the embassy. I sent in my application on November 12th, the same day when I went to see my Aziatix. I was stressed out but the concert was a blessing. I was able to stop being suicidal for a few hours and just have fun. I even had a meltdown when I met Eddie Shin, I thought I was going to die.
The application to the embassy was meant to get there on Monday, it got there the following Thursday, 19th November. I was sitting there thinking I had only a few days to live. Then on November 30, 2011, I got an e-mail telling me to go to the embassy to pick up my documents. That I had not included anything to send back the documents with. There was no indication as what the result of the immigration request was, I just thought, I better find a bridge so that when they reject me, I just go jump off the bridge, or wait for a fast moving bus, jump in front of it, or just make it simple, jump in front of a train in the Metro.
I got to the embassy, waited an hour, and the guy handed me a my passport and said I had been accepted. He wasn't belittling me, he was telling me to make sure I carried a letter issued by the embassy. I seemed not to be listening, so he repeated that. I couldn't even ask any questions. This was a far cry from the treatment third world people usually get at American embassies. I was really shocked at how well I was treated. It was Dec 1st when I found out that I had only a month to leave the country.
First of all, my lawyer told me to make sure not to get arrested. That the government of the new country was not going to be able to protect me anyway even though they had given me permission to go to their country. So I was told to stay under the radar. No problem, I don't drink so no DUIs coming. I had to take many things to Goodwill to get receipts for that, so I could file taxes with that. I was told better to leave as clean a record as possible, in case I might want to come back. With how fucked up the US immigration system is, who wants to wait 20 years to come back, and then be arrested by the Gestapo ICE anytime they lose their documents? I swear, the truth is, USA is a very scary place. Even when you get your papers, you can be stripped of them at any moment. I am glad I am out of there. Even though my brother applied for papers for me, I would have had to wait 9 years more years for anything to happen. Why wait around with no one paying my bills.
I worked until the very last day, Dec 30th. I went to Carmaxx and sold my car. I only got $1,000 for it since it had been totaled and no one had told me when I bought it. I took the bus to the bank, but had to pass by the MVA to drop off the tags. Had to pay $5 to the company that was taking the tags since the offices were closed. Then I took another bus to the bank. Put the money in the account, then took another bus back home. I had no car, and I had 2 more days to be in the country. I had another Asian concert to attend, but it was in the dangerous and racist state of Virginia. People get arrested there all the time if they are not white, if you are not white and you have an accent other than American, you get arrested for being illegal in the country even if you are legal. I had to take my chance, this was going to be the last time I was ever going to see hot Asian guys. Not that where I was going there were no Asian guys, there would be tonnes of them, but I think I like Asian Americans better, tehehe.
I was starving by the time the concert was done, hadn't eaten well, couldn't pack everything, had to trash many things, left many things for my landlady, and she cried a lot. They are also in the country illegally, and they had been advised to go to Singapore to their relatives' house. They had been in the US for as long as I had been, had been paying their taxes every year since they got the EIN issued by the US government for illegals who want to work and pay taxes, yet there was no hope of ever being legal. She was sad I was leaving, but she was happy my life was also going to improve.
I had 2 suitcases and 2 carry on bags in the Metro. This one guy thought I was forgetting my suitcase. It was too much for me. So him and his friend offered to carry them for me to the Green line. If they had not helped me, I couldn't have carried them all that distance. At least at Shady Grove metro, I was able to carry them one by one on my head. The guy who first offered to help said he played American football, and he said the smaller guy was a marine, that he could carry the other suitcase. We talked a bit on our way down, I thanked them and shook their hands. They had no idea I was running out of their country. Other people were laughing at me. It had been 12:30am on Jan 1st when I boarded the first train. So people were telling me they were sorry I had been kicked out on the new year. It was funny that on the train, some people wondered why I had not left the country earlier, why I had waited 10 years. It was a perfect example of how Americans, no matter how liberal they are, really prefer that non-Americans go back to where they came from. Americans will only smile at you when they are in your country, but the smiles turn to frowns when you get to their country.
I got to Reagan National Airport. The old Asian guy told me the carts were usually $3, but for that day, it was free for me. I guess I looked that pathetic. I was glad to save $3. I waited 2 hours, sitting under an American flag that draped the hallway. It felt oppressive, seeing that flag lording over me like that. At 4am, I went to the ticket counter. Then the staff flew into a panic, "She needs a visa to go to that country, she needs a visa!" Dude, they already gave me permission to enter and leave their country multiple times, no limit, unlike what the USA did to me before, so I was ok. After 30 minutes of confusion at the counter over my entry documents to the new country, they finally realized there was no problem.
When I boarded the first plane leaving Washington DC, it was 6:30am and still dark. I cried. I was leaving everything behind, and there was no guarantee I would be admitted into the new country. The interview would be at the port of entry, all I had was an entry document. If they denied me the student visa, I would not be able to come back to the US (not that there was anything much left there for me), and I would have to go back to Kenya, a land that I was not ready for since I had no standing at all. My relatives in the US had no idea I was leaving. They had last seen me at the Christmas party. They had had no idea why I was so cheerful. I had planned to kill myself at the port of entry if they had denied me a student visa. Even though my cousin back home had promised to help me look for a job when I got back to Kenya, who would have known what would have happened when I got there. No, I was not going to die in the US, but I was definitely going to die in the new country if they rejected me.
My phone was still working when the plane from DC landed in the next American city. I had to change planes at that point. I had a few minutes to tweet my location. A few people were following me on twitter and knew my situation. I had promised them I would do that whenever I got the chance. The phone was not working anymore, but the texting was still on. So I sent text messages to friends still in the US, and family back in Kenya that the first part of the journey was complete. They were happy for me. They kept their fingers crossed for me so I would not get arrested while leaving the US. When I handed in my I-94 (the legal entry document) and existed without the woman calling immigration police on me, I knew I was home free. At least I managed to get myself out in one piece.
On the plane to leave the country, this Filipina felt so sorry for me, she gave me the cookies we had been given for food. I had been starving since Thursday, so that helped. I starved from Thursday to Sunday when I was travelling, refused to spend any money on food because I had to save it. And when I got to the next airport in the new country, I was weak! I had to go get the student visa at immigration, and they were all wearing bullet proof vests. I was like WTF? Do people shoot at these guys? lol. He asked me the usual questions, I gave him the usual answers. What are you going to study, why did you chose our country, what were you doing in the US, why did you leave the US? In my application to the embassy, I told them I was illegal, I had been in school, this is what had happened to me. So when he asked me that question, I just told him the truth. I couldn't stay in the US anymore because I was illegal. Horror of all horrors, he smiled! Seriously! This new country, these people are crazy, or rather they are normal. After dealing with American authorities, I think I was just used to rough treatment. So when I was being treated as a human being, it was puzzling!
He gave me the student visa, and I was free! Finally, a human being again. If someone had told me I would waste 10 years in the US in a bid to improve my life, I would have just committed suicide after high school. The USA was such false hope. I worked hard there, payed all my bills, paid taxes, participated in community service, I did everything but I was never considered a human being in the eyes of the government. There was absolutely no way for me to get papers legally not unless I married a crazy American. I was finally in a country that treated me in the opposite way, they were welcoming, they were going to encourage me to stay, and they would find value in my hard work.
My phone's text was still working, so I texted and twitted that I was free, and the congratulations poured in. My cousin and mom in Kenya were happy for me, the few Americans who helped me escape were also happy for me, and I think after that, only my landlord and landlady, and 2 of my friends were aware of what was happening. Everyone was happy for me.
It's been hard adjusting here. I had no idea that I was under such stress. They tell me everyday to relax, that I am no longer in the USA. I have been called paranoid by my classmates, all sorts of things. I have a case of PTSD, lol, and no, I won't get it treated, that's not the African way anyway. I'll get my work permit soon, things are going well here. When I see the police, I don't duck and hide behind a bush. I feel so sorry for those still illegal in the US. They'll probably die that way. I feel sorry for the Americans who have the option to leave the country and seek better opportunities but their minds are too myopic for them to see what they can do abroad with those papers.
I am enjoying my brand new life, regretting how I wasted away in the US though, but now I finally have the chance at real improvement. It took a while to get my money from my bank account in the US. The Federal Reserve held if for a while. In the meantime I could not register for classes until I had paid. I filed my taxes yesterday. I ended up owing Maryland $15. I still have my credit card active, and I have to send the money back to the US using Western Union, but this is part of what I have to do to keep a damaged but 'clean' trail in the US. I'm getting some money from the Federal government even though I'm paying the state of Maryland. The MVA is sending me my money for returning the tags, $64. The car insurance company put back $84 on my credit card when I cancelled my insurance. And the credit card company had to put $12.50 on my card after the check they sent to me bounced, since I had already left the country by the time it got to me.
For anyone seeking to leave the US or change their life drastically, you won't get anywhere if you don't put suicide on the table. Once suicide became an option for me, I worked harder to get out. I was rejected a million times, but if you look for more options, you might find one that works.
I would like to thank the USA for making me see the dark side of the country. The experience of being a slave that passes for a normal person was eye opening. If I fail in this new country, it will be 100% my fault. The US prepared me for such hardships that I will never experience again for the rest of my life. Once I get my citizenship here, I'll be able to contribute positively to my family, the world, and myself. I am looking forward to that day, and I hope never to have any reason to set foot in the USA again. There's nothing there for me other than terrible memories.
